Herald News (Passaic County, NJ)
September 16, 2007 Sunday
All Editions
Class act; ‘Dr. Bones’ puts the fun back into the fundamentals
BYLINE: By DIANE HAINES, Herald News, North Jersey Media Group
SECTION: LIFE; Pg. E01
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For Adjunct Professor Don R. Mueller, every classroom is a stage and every chemistry lecture is a show. He sometimes teaches in costume and juggles fruit and vegetables for the students at William Paterson University in Wayne. His aim is to make them laugh and learn.
“I’m Don Mueller, also known as Dr. Bones. To find out more about me go to go to my Web sites, Dr. Bones show or the Brain Party,” Mueller tells students while passing out a description of General Chemistry 1. There are more than 40 students in the room and he thinks he’s going to run out of the class summary.
“I’m like a priest praying I have enough of these,” he says, walking between the chairs in windowless cinderblock classroom 251 in Science Hall.
“They call me Dr. Bones because I do science and health shows and it pays more money than this (teaching), by the way,” he says by way of introduction.
Mueller, 45, of Monsey, N.Y., uses blue and green plastic balls of various sizes to launch his explanation of “protons, neutrons and croutons.
“Some of my jokes are so corny you may get a piece wedged between your teeth,” he cautions students.
“I have to have fun teaching. ‘We (the university administrators) like what you’re teaching and we don’t care if you dress up,’” Mueller explains about the attitude of his bosses. He sometimes shows up for class as Dr. Bones wearing a white lab coat with a stethoscope draped around his neck and carrying a small skeleton. At other times he is Geometry Guy or the Letter Man. The school officials also don’t care that he’s running for president through his own organization ? the Brain Party. His explanation for juggling fruits and vegetables in class is simple.
“We have fruity people in Washington,” he explains. Others, he says, have the brains of vegetables.
The Brain Party Web site proclaims, “Where we value intelligence and integrity in our political candidates. We invite you to look around.” An eye moves from side to side scrutinizing politics and candidates.
He says George W. Bush is “incredibly dumb” and “an embarrassment every time he opens his mouth.
“Al Gore doesn’t tell you that global warming will stave off the next ice age or at least make it a little milder. ‘The Lying King’ stars Bill Clinton.
“I’m sorry if I offended you, and I’m sorry if I haven’t offended you.” he adds.
On his Web site Mueller pictures Bush carrying a book called “Presidency for Dummies.” He says of Clinton that integrity is something he can’t buy. A photo shows the former president growing a long nose and devil horns.
He asks if anyone currently running for the presidency gets high marks for both intelligence and integrity. Hillary Clinton, Rudolph Giuliani and Barack Obama don’t make the grade. Dr. Bones meets both requirements, says Mueller, and that’s why he’s running.
If elected, Dr. Bones would have Supreme Court justices elected to 10 year-terms and would impose term limits for both the House of Representatives and the Senate. He thinks it ludicrous to have some people serving in Congress for 30 or 40 years.
He says he has a chance at winning because “the people are not as stupid as the people governing us.”
Mueller says he would like to see more scientists, mathematics and business people in politics. (Rep. Rush Holt, D-Hopewell Township, is actually a rocket scientist.) He certainly doesn’t want a former business executive like Jon S. Corzine in public office. Corzine was nearly killed when his sports utility vehicle crashed into a guard rail at more than 90 miles per hour on the Garden State Parkway while he was not wearing a seatbelt. Wearing a seatbelt is something Dr. Bones teaches youngsters.
In addition to his position at William Paterson University, Mueller is teaching calculus and finance at Manhattan College in Riverdale, N.Y. As Dr. Bones he regularly visits classrooms and hospitals throughout the United States, and has performed six shows at the National Taiwan University Children’s Hospital in Taipei. He spoke English with a few Mandarin words sprinkled in, though he says most of the people at the Taipei presentations spoke English.
Mueller has put together his Web sites with a sense of humor and plenty of clip art. He shows a woman collecting elephant dung to suggest the way the Republicans treat their backers. As for the Democrats, he pictures a donkey, the party mascot. He says the three branches of government ? executive, legislative and judicial ? have become a three-ring circus because they are full of clowns.
“Even worse is the fact that the three-ring circus is steadily evolving into a complex set of interlocking rings composed of special-interest groups. These lobbying groups control the purse strings of the Democratic and Republican parties,” the Web site says.
Mueller is asking voters to join the Brain Party, vote for him and start cleaning up politics as usual in Washington. He thinks President Bones has a nice ring.
LOAD-DATE: September 19, 2007
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Dear John,
I do not believe that the Professor is a Manhattan Alum.
Mike
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Mike, You’re right. I misread the article. Thanks, fjohn
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