Category Archives: JEmail

JEMAIL: Fink, Bob (MC1957) prays for us all at @pontiflex


Re: [Distribute_Jasper_Jottings]

My wife and I are in Philadelphia in the presence of the Holy Father I prayed for the College and all the Alumni

particularly those in need

God bless

Bob Fink ’57

# – # – # – # – # 

[JR: Can’t tell you when this came in. But I’m sure I could use it.]  

Fink, Bob (MC1957)

# – # – # – # – # 

JEMAIL: McEneney, Mike (MC1953) calls attention to a Guest Book


FROM: McEneney, Mike (MC1953)
3:57 PM (6 hours ago)

Dear Fellow Jasper’s,

          I urge you to read the entries in the Guest Book for the late John H. Mark, Esq. ’00, the son of John H Mark, ’71, and see what an enormous impression one JASPER made on people from all over the world. It is a tribute to him, his family and the College.

                 May He Rest In Peace!


McEneney, Mike (MC1953)

[JR: Thanks, Mike. Much appreciated.]

# – # – #



——– Forwarded Message ——–

Subject: [JasperJottingsEditorial]
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 2015 15:08:19 -0400
From: Jasper Fjohn68


September 23, 2015

I was saddened to learn of CAPT Mark’s passing. I work in the Pentagon (same floor and corridor) and I would see CAPT Mark all time. Every time I saw John he had a smile on his face. Although we did not know each other personally we had a special routine of smiling, saying “Good morning / afternoon” and asking each other how was the weekend :) He was very friendly. Blessings and Rest in Peace. I know John is smiling!

Andrea Gibson,



September 19, 2015

John and Angela, so sorry to hear about your loss of John, words cannot explain our feelings. You are in our prayers always. Richie and Janna

Richard Kreps,

Carmel, New York

September 18, 2015

Dear Angela and John, We just became aware of your precious son’s passing. We still have a photo of John you sent us one year with a Christmas card and the various notes letting us know how you and John Jr. were doing. We are so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jane & Charlie Parlato,

Glen Cove, New York

September 17, 2015

I am greatly saddened by this. Mark rode with us in B Troop, 4th U.S. Cavalry (Memorial) while he was at Fort Huachuca. He always had a smile on his face and always had a funny story to tell. I will miss him.

Christopher Zimmerman,

Whetstone, Arizona

September 14, 2015

I only knew John for a short time but he made a world of difference to me. Capt. Mark and Hayley attended a training conference in DC this past August. Prior to the conference, he contacted me, offering any assistance he could from the Washington area. He would check in with me continuously to see if he could assist in any way. During the week of the conference, John gave me a flag he had flown over the Pentagon. I will remember you forever.

My prayers are with you and your family. RIP Capt.

Mike Corrado,

New Jersey

September 13, 2015

I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Captain Mark was such a great happy individual. Prior to going on leave we were talking about investment properties in NY and how excited he was for investing with his Dad. I’m going to miss your cheerful smile. God bless you.

George Sanchez,

Woodbridge, Virginia

September 13, 2015

Members of the National Press Club add our condolences to the family and friends of Capt. Mark. He was a member of our Club and of this world for far too short a time.

Kenneth Dalecki,

Washington, District of Columbia

September 12, 2015

such a wonderful person who will be missed tremendously he touched everyone with his manner, RIP John

Rose Jimenez,

Manhattan College, New York

September 11, 2015

John made a wonderful impression wherever he went and made a difference in his life. The Fort Huachuca legal community and the Buffalo Soldiers will miss him. He always had a smile and a good story to share. I still have a New York mug he gave me and it is more special now. Rest in peace, my friend.

Dan Haws,

Fort Huachuca, Arizona

September 11, 2015

My deepest condolences to all of John’s family and friends around the world.

Craig Schmauder,

The Pentagon, OGC, District of Columbia

September 11, 2015

Dear LT Mark, I am so sorry for your lose. May God look out for your and your family.

Joseph Paolillo,

Glen Head, New York

September 11, 2015

Jennifer Milio,

New York, New York

September 10, 2015

John was one of the few people I can confidently say was a genuinely good man. He was always there for me when I needed a friendly ear. I have no words to express my feelings at this time except that you will be truly missed, but never forgotten.

Jose Moncayo,

White Sands, New Mexico

September 09, 2015

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What an amazing person. You’ll be missed CPT Mark

Nakava Kibunzi,

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

September 09, 2015

I first met John as an OBC classmate and our paths crossed numerous times in the JAG Corps, as I replaced him as the Senior Defense Counsel at Fort Huachuca. Whether we were talking cases or just joking around about life, John was one of my favorite people to talk to. He was engaging, caring, humble, and as funny as anyone I’ve ever met. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss.

Steve Cincotta

September 09, 2015

I can’t believe you’re gone. RIP my friend and see in the future.


Eric Sanford,

Jersey, New Jersey

September 09, 2015

Angela and John,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. John’s smile, laughter and warm presence will always be missed. He greeted all with a smile and lit up the room immediately. From the first time I met him in Afghanistan, when he greeted me with, Hey, buckaroo, to my service with him in Kuwait and the Pentagon, he always brought out the humor in any situation.

Lyn Juarez,

Sanford, North Carolina

September 09, 2015

To John, Angela and Grandma Mary,

Prayers of comfort are said. John or Jay as I called him, will be missed. He is with you and all of us who love him always. Bless John’s memory always.Love Sherri

Sherri Bolster,

Glens Falls, New York

September 09, 2015

May your light shine bright. Sending love to ALL that you’ve touched… Love to your family and friends.

Jenn Geddie,

Bulverde, Texas

September 09, 2015

John was my student at Manhattan College. He was smart, dedicated, and always a delight to spend time with. No matter how busy I might have been, I was always happy to find him walking into my office just to shoot the breeze. He was that rarest of human beings: a pure pleasure.

Rocco Marinaccio,

The Bronx, New York

September 08, 2015

Dear Angela and John,

We are so sorry for your loss. John was an incredible person and will be greatly missed. Our deepest condolences.


With all our love,

Terri & David

San Diego, California

September 08, 2015

Our prayers are with you and for him.

May God give you strenght to bear this burden.

Joe and Brigitte Monturo,

Mary Esther, Florida

September 08, 2015

John & Angela,

Our heartfelt condolences to you and your family at this sad and difficult time. JH was a fine young man!! May he rest in peace and may God give you strength. We will keep you in our prayers. God Bless. Matt, Judy & Ian Williams

Matt Williams,

Fleischmanns ,NY

September 08, 2015

A. Santos

September 08, 2015

I worked with CPT Mark for only two weeks, at the Pentagon, last year. He was the nicest guy in the office, introduced me to everyone, invited me to lunch daily, and gave me his expert tour of the Pentagon with the zeal and patriotism of a great Soldier. Although I knew him briefly I felt I had made a dependable friend. May he rest in peace. MAJ Bruce Fein

Bruce Fein,

Great Falls, Virginia

September 08, 2015

He was one of the nicest customers I had the pleasure of coming in contact with here at work. He was always getting flags flown for someone. Always with the biggest smile on his face and never a unkind word about anything or anybody. I will surely miss his smiling face and upbeat personality.

Rosalind Taylor,

Woodbridge, Virginia

September 08, 2015

I had the great fortune to serve as one of John’s vice presidents of the Student Bar Association during our third year at Law school. He beat out one of my closest friends to win that year, and I was prepared to dislike him for having beaten her, which was both completely unfair and completely impossible. John was quite possibly the most genuine person I have ever known. Even in times when I saw him frustrated by roadblocks or red tape he never failed to be positive and kind about every situation. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to have been even just a very brief part of his life. I am not exaggerating when I say that humanity has suffered a blow at the loss of him. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and loved ones.

Nicole Walsh,

New York, New York

September 08, 2015

John always had a smile for everyone. Always a stand up guy. You’ll be missed, John. May the road rise to meet you.

Brian Gibbons,

Manhasset, New York

September 08, 2015

My prayer go to his family

Kenneth Hall Family,

Broken Arrow, Oklahoma

September 08, 2015

I had the great joy of working with John at Fort Huachuca. His smile was amazing, and he made the office better because he was a part of it. He was the only JAG who volunteered in the Buffalo Soldier riding unit. They staged a “charge” across the parade ground as part of most ceremonies. He and his horse Wyatt were never first, but were a lot of fun to watch. John was a good, loving, funny and smart man. He must have had an amazing family to raise such a great man. Thank you to his whole family for giving us such a wonderful person to know and love. Karen Judkins COL (Ret)


September 08, 2015

John is the nicest soul to come out of Woodside, Queens. He brightened its streets with his smile and good nature, then put his smarts and talents to use on behalf of this country. Along the way, he managed to be a constant and true, dear friend to my cousin, my family, and the community. I wish I knew him better than I did, but I feel lucky just to say I knew him. He accomplished so much in such a short time and made my hometown proud. RIP John Henry. You won’t be forgotten.

Jerry Andrews,

Yonkers, New York

September 08, 2015

We were so blessed to have John in our lives. He was truly one of the nicest and most thoughtful persons we’ve ever known. What an inspiration and role model for all of us. You will be missed John Henry.

Patrick and Bonnie Murphy,

Liberty Lake, Washington

September 08, 2015

I met John serving in Kuwait/Afghanistan. His loss is palpable. He was the rare person who humbly made everyone else better. You instantly liked him, and you never forget him. He thought critically about the nature of public service. It wasn’t a concept to him; he valued it. It was a part of him. So was kindness. It was his natural state. Informed by his real compassion and understanding, he was, always, warm, inviting, funny. He was also a brilliant attorney, and I learned a great deal from him, in and out of courtrooms. I am so thankful to have known him. My thoughts and prayers are with his family now.

Robert Taylor,

Denver, Colorado

September 08, 2015

My deepest sympathies to John’s family and friends. May you be comforted by your happiest memories of John in this sad time. John left a lasting impact on his law school classmates. It comes as no surprise that he continued to serve his country and the needs of his fellow service members. May he rest in peace.

Taragh Maples-Mulvihill,

Chandler, Arizona

September 08, 2015

John and Angela,

We pray for you and John Henry at this very difficult time. He really lit up the lives of those who knew him, a beautiful person is gone to the heavens way too soon.

Revelo-Montoya Family,

Sunnyside, New York

September 08, 2015

“Look at this guy!” From John’s Fonzi the lie-detector dog story, to calling the Kuwait Courtroom “America,” during a Court-Martial, his stories just never ended. HIs was the kindest, funniest, most reliable friend one could have. I still remember the day we picked him up at Ali Al Saleem, where we first met, and it was like we had known each other for ever. His presence made everyone a better person. He was a man of honor, a man who would not let a bad moment ruin his day, and a wrong situation ruin a friendship. He knew how and when accept his mistakes and fix them right away, so relationships could continue as they never suffered. His attention to details will be missed. He would never forget to celebrate the dullest of moments as they were the greatest. There is so much more I can say, but i find myself repeating how great he was. I pray for all his fiends, and specially for John. Sr, Angela and Haylee. May the Lord grant you peace in you hearts and provide you with the comfort that he lived a life of excitement. I cannot say he is in a better place right now, because there was nothing wrong with having him here. I will miss him and will never forget.

Javier Lopez,

San Juan, Puerto Rico

September 08, 2015

My prayers go out to his family. John Henry was my friend. Every childhood memory I ever had he was in it. He will be missed. I will carry him with me in my heart. I remember he was a nice guy and he always made people laugh. That’s how I will remember him.


Your Friend


Sandy Lesnick

Sandy Lesnick,

Palm Coast, Florida

September 08, 2015

Words can not express my deep sadness at the loss of such an incredible man. CPT Mark will be forever in my heart. The world will never be the same. Rest in paradise, Sir!

Heidi Collins,

Sierra Vista, Arizona

September 08, 2015

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of John. He was always smiling. He was a fantastic individual who will be greatly missed by everyone who knew him.


Please accept my sincere and heartfelt condolences at this most difficult of times and please pass these feelings onto your family.

Lorraine Bradley,

Brandywine, Maryland

September 08, 2015

John was a bright inspiration to everyone. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Be assured God is watching over him.

Mary Erazo,

Rego Park, New York

September 08, 2015

Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with you. John was an inspirational human being, truly the most positive person I’ve encountered, as well as a tremendous officer, leader, and lawyer. He is missed.

Cory Simpson,

Silver Spring, Maryland

September 08, 2015

John, It was an honor and a blessing to have known you. A gentleman smart, honest, genuine, charismatic, an exceptional young men that touched and inspired many lives. The greatest son and friend you can ask for with wonderful parents that adore you. Thank you for making everyone around you feel protected, loved and cared. You were always an Angel walking beside us. You will always be in our hearts and minds..Dios te Bendiga .

Pat Mcguire,

New York, New York

September 08, 2015

I had the honor of serving with John in Kuwait/Afghanistan. He was compassionate, intelligent, witty, and courageous. He made friends wherever he went and lit up the room with his smile. I am praying for his family and his friends as we all mourn the loss of a great officer, brilliant attorney, and true friend.

Sean Park,

Washington, District of Columbia

September 08, 2015

My heart goes out to John’s family and friends. John brought joy to all who had the honor of knowing him. He will be deeply missed.

Sue Lynch,

Alexandria, Virginia

September 08, 2015

I wanted to extend my deepest condolences to John’s family. Although he was a few years apart from me in high school, I got to know him a bit better through the speech team. His humor and kindness were evident in every interaction, so much so that even to more casual acquaintances like myself, he stood out. The world needs more people like John. He made everyone feel special. My prayers are with you.

Sam Tringali,

New York, New York

September 08, 2015

John was always cheerful and happy, he had a way in making everyone smile, I will miss him dearly. My sincere condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Jane Estrada,

Woodbridge, Virginia

September 08, 2015

I am so sorry for your loss, I am very fortunate to have known this kind and wonderful man who brighten the lives of those he met.


Rose Jimenez

September 08, 2015

My deepest sympathies for your loss. John was a terrific spirit and talented officer. I am thankful I had the opportunity to get to know him. He will be deeply missed.

Mark Milhiser,

Alexandria, Virginia

September 08, 2015

My deepest sympathies are extended to John’s family. They are in my thoughts and prayers.


In the short time I had the privilege to know John, I was enormously impressed by his attitude, his professional competence, and his personal courage and fortitude. He was the very best this country has. I was proud to know him, however briefly. Thank you John, for your service; it was an honor to serve with you.

Walt Hudson,

Washington, District of Columbia

September 08, 2015

John was a blessing and a breath of fresh air to the U.S. Army JAG Corps. He was someone I always enjoyed working with and talking too. He was smart, but didn’t flaunt it. He was a leader that people would follow without being ordered to follow. I always looked forward to seeing John. He truly made the world a better place with his presence.

Ken Hall,

Fort Bragg, North Carolina

September 08, 2015

An amazing man who brightened the lives of everyone he met. He lived life to the fullest.

Richie Newman,

Rio Grande Valley, Texas

September 07, 2015

My deepest sympathies. John and I thought we had first met when we were in the same class at JAOBC in 2007, but we later learned that our paths had crossed much earlier as we were both born on September 14, 1978 at Lenox Hill Hospital. All who ever met John miss Will miss his spirit and light, but I will never forgot my JAG Corps twin.

Heather Tenney,

Columbia, Maryland

September 07, 2015

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I count myself fortunate and lucky to have known John; he was a remarkable individual brimming with infectious happiness and optimism. He will be missed. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Travis Sommer,

Woodbridge, Virginia

September 07, 2015

I deployed from Ft Benning with John in 2012. He was an excellent officer and attorney but an even better person. I am so sorry for all of our loss; he really was one of those people you just knew impacted everyone he met.

MAJ Melissa Covolesky,

Ft. Meade, Maryland

September 07, 2015

Thank you for sharing your son with us. He had that unique ability to put everyone at ease, make everyone feel appreciated, and deliver the well-timed comic relief we all needed (daily!). John will be missed.

Von Kliem,

Alexandria, Virginia

September 07, 2015

With deepest sympathy to John’s family. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Denise Williams,

Bronx, New York

September 07, 2015

Michael Russo,

Fort Benning, Georgia

September 07, 2015

I am terribly sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with John and your family. In both spirit and character, John was as good as they come. While we may weap, heaven is certainly now a better place.

Mike Devine,

Alexandria, Virginia

September 07, 2015

Dear Angela, John and Mrs Luca,

Words seem inadequate to express the sorrow felt by the loss of John Henry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Please accept our heartfelt condolences.

Nuckols Family

Tuula Nuckols,

Espoo, Finland

September 07, 2015

John was a wonderful person and a good friend. He was the best president that St. John’s has ever had. I know that we all miss him and may not understand why this happened, but our lives are so much better with having known John. Prayers for John and all of his friends and family.


Albuquerque, New Mexico

September 07, 2015

John was a great guy to work for and an even better friend to have. He introduced me to Rambo First Blood and that is what I ended up calling him. He was so dependable and such a happy guy. It breaks my heart that he is no longer with us. I’m gonna miss you brother

Debo Kuye,

Tamarac, Florida

September 07, 2015

My most profound condolences. Every interaction with John was an absolute pleasure; he will be deeply missed.

LTC Derek Brown,

Oakton, Virginia

September 07, 2015

His smile lit up every room he entered.

Katharine Adams

September 07, 2015

John Mark was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. To have such a person leave this world so quickly is heartbreaking, but it’s no surprise to see how many lives he’s touched and inspired during his life. Rest in Peace John Mark, fellow Jasper and friend.

Jennifer Frankola,

Sunnyside, New York

September 07, 2015

Although he is no longer physically with us, may we all find comfort knowing that John’s charismatic smile and selfless spirit will live on in the hearts of so many.


September 07, 2015

My heartfelt condolences to all of John’s family. Words cannot describe the joy he brought into the lives of those of us who knew him.

Tom Modeszto,

Fairfax, Virginia

September 07, 2015

Sincere condolences for your loss. May the loving support of family and friends (Proverbs 17:17) bring you comfort as you cherish the memories.

September 07, 2015

The Manhattan College alumni community shares the grief, and is now praying for our fellow alumni and the family at this time. The Alumni Office has been informed. As well as the Jasper Jottings community that I personally can reach. We are all a little poorer now. “No man is an island, entire of itself … any mans death diminishes me”. We are sorry for your loss.

fjohn reinke (mc1968),

keene, New Hampshire

September 07, 2015

John and Angela,

Words provide little comfort during such a time, so I pray for you and JH. I pray that he will provide you with understanding and strength.

Pam Jimenez

Pamela Jimenez,

Yonkers, New York

September 07, 2015

John was a truly exceptional person. He brought happiness and good will to every life he touched.

COL (Ret) Everett Maynard,

Sierra Vista, Arizona

September 07, 2015

We are so saddened and shocked at the loss of this wonderful young man. Our deepest condolences and prayers go out to his adoring parents . John and Angela, you raised an outstanding son, who will be missed by so many.

Susanne Mars,

Lakewood, New Jersey

September 07, 2015

Dear John and Angela,

We cannot understand God’s timing, but, we do know that JH is safely at home in his heavenly Father’s arms.

During the course of his schooling and military career, John touched many lives and made such a positive impact. You will never know the far reaching influence he had on those who crossed paths with him. As you struggle in the days, weeks and months ahead realize that his positive attitude, kind words, work ethics and smile will continue to have an impact.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Sandra Stine,

Vandalia, Illinois

September 07, 2015

I never met John in person, but I relied on the quality legal advice that he sent to the Soldiers in the field. He did alot of good and will be missed.


September 07, 2015

John Mark gave us all a blueprint for life on earth.

Wesley West,

Austin, Texas

September 07, 2015

Sir- You were only in my life for a short amount of time, yet the grief I feel at your passing feels as though we’ve been friends for longer. You were an amazing Soldier and Officer and it was privilege being able to know you. Rest In Peace.

Adriana Snydstrup,

Alexandria, Virginia

September 07, 2015

John was a man defined by kindness and a desire to help others. We are all better people for having known him. God Bless.

Neil Schleifer,

Bronxville, New York

September 07, 2015

Absolutely stunned. What an amazing guy and always a smile on his face. Thoughts and prayers to his friends and family.

Rick Johnson,

Stafford, Virginia

September 07, 2015

Sir, thank you for all the light that you brought into a dark world. You will be missed terribly.

Anthony Cosme

September 07, 2015

Gone too soon. Guess God needed another wonderful angel.Take comfort in the knowledge of what a wonderful son John was. Although he was only yours for a short time, he is with God forever.

Mary Brown,

Maitland, Florida

September 07, 2015

John…..You left us too soon…a true gentleman, you will be missed but always remembered.

Michael Russo,

Roswell, Georgia

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Oct-02 @ 22:46  

JEMAIL: Bottlik, Geza (MC1960) changed address


On Sun, Sep 13, 2015 at 9:24 AM, Bottlik, Geza (MC1960) wrote:

Please change my email to {Privacy Invoked}.
Thanks Geza ’60
# – # – # – # – # 
Done. Took the liberty of moving you over to MAILCHIMP.

# – # – # – # – # 

[JR: Anyone can move themselves whenever they want. Send an email to and signup at — zero work for me. I’m going to discontinue Yahoo at the end of the year. Will send out new invites in December. Avoid the rush and test it out.]
# – # – # – # – #  2015-Sep-13 @ 11:58   


JEMAIL: Lyons, Pat (MC1965) recommends the retreat


Dear John,

Pat Lyons, ’65, sent this to me, while on vacation, and asked me
to forward it on to you for inclusion in Jasper Jottings as a report on his experience with the Retreat.



McEneney, Mike (MC1953)

[JR: Thanks, Mike. Much appreciated.]

# – # – # – # – # 

Since 1999, I have been attending the Manhattan College Businessmen’s Reality Retreat. It helps me reconcile all my gifts with the demands of life, without getting burned out. Going to the sacraments is optional, but going to reconciliation here, for me, is very special and thought provoking.

For more info: visit the website, or facebook page

# – # – # – # – # 

Lyons, Pat (MC1965)

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Sep-03 @ 21:51  

JEMAIL: Mante, Tim (MC1991) on the Retreat


Mante, Tim (MC1991)

In reference to Ed McEneney’s post on August 13th, regarding the Manhattan College Businessman’s Retreat; I have attended this event for the last 4 years and it has been a rewarding and thoughtful experience.

We invite all interested to join us for some reflective time and fellowship to listen to speakers who will discuss how to better live our faith in our busy daily lives, as well as meeting and networking with other men who share our values.

If you are interested in joining us this year, please refer to Ed McEneney’s August posting for more details, or call the retreat house directly at (718) 739-1229.

[JR: Thanks.]

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Aug-19 @ 10:36   

JEMAIL: Dans, Peter E. (MC1957) is on a podcast


Hi John:

I hope this finds you well. I usually add “and happy” but it’s hard to be happy with what the Supreme Court, Obama, and anti-Christian activists are doing to America. Still, we know the ending and have to keep the faith.

On the off chance that you can’t pick this up, I am sending you this link to the podcast of my 55 minute interview about Christians in the Movies with Patrick Coffin of Catholic Answers Radio that aired on July 3rd. it’s long but some who are concerned about what happened to the movies might find it of interest.

Best regards,

—– Original Message —–
From: Michael Costanza
To: Peter Dans (Peter Dans)
Sent: Monday, July 06, 2015 8:13 PM
Subject: Your Interview with Catholic Answers

# – # – # – # – # 

Dans, Peter E. (MC1957)

[JR: Always glad to hear from my fellow Jaspers. I hope they all listen to it. As far as “happy”, I am “happy” with the decision — give me a sec — because it further demonstrates the need to separate the Gooferment from “marriage” and “licensing”. As with so many other things, I want more people to be “upset” and see that the “Secular Progressive” movement needs to be repudiated in so many areas of the civil society. I think that from a “Catholic pov” that the Gooferment Skrules monopoly needs to be destroyed! Then maybe we’ll see a comeback of “Catholic education”. From that comes vocations. And from that the greater glory of the Church. How’s that for idealism?]

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jul-08 @ 20:15   

JEMAIL: McEneney, Mike (MC1953) shares some “retirement whizdom”


Geography Lessons for Retirees Or those looking for a new place to live .
You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU F_ _ _ _ING KIDDING ME??!!

You can retire to California where
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can retire to New York City where
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression..

You can retire to Maine where
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco ……
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can retire to the Deep South where
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin'” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out yonder.” It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can retire to Colorado where
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can retire to the Midwest where
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor..
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can retire to Florida where
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

 # – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-29 @ 19:01