Category Archives: JEmail

JEMAIL: McEneney, Mike (MC1953) shares some “retirement whizdom”

2015-Jun-29

Geography Lessons for Retirees Or those looking for a new place to live .
You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU F_ _ _ _ING KIDDING ME??!!

You can retire to California where
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can retire to New York City where
1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression..

You can retire to Maine where
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco ……
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can retire to the Deep South where
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin'” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out yonder.” It’s important to know the difference, too.

You can retire to Colorado where
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can retire to the Midwest where
1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor..
3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can retire to Florida where
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

 # – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-29 @ 19:01  

JEMAIL: Colon, Philip J. (MC1962) update on McEneney, Mike (MC1953)

2015-Jun-26

Good Morning All,

I just heard from Mike, which made my week, and he is home resting and continuing his recuperation. Please keep Mike and Cathie in your prayers as we pray that all continues well with no complications. Your voice was heard and we are grateful. Thank you. God Bless. HoooRaah !

Phil Colon

Colon, Philip J. (MC1962) 

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-26 @ 15:50  

JEMAIL: Toner, Mike (MC1972) questions

2015-Jun-21

Dear f. John,

RE: COMMENT: Frank Smith (MC 1970) comments on Toner, Mike (MC1972)

Since Jasper Frank Smith has such great judgement – calling me a “bedrock of common sense” – I really wish I could claim him as friend and fraternity brother. Alas, I cannot.  Jasper Frank, while we have a common bond as Jaspers, I don’t think we were acqainted at alma mater. I did not belong to ASB or any social fraternity – only Eta Kappa NU (HKN), the EE academic frat. But best wishes to you and thnak you for your kind comment.

mike toner
BEE ’72
Buffalo, NY

[JR: Hmmm maybe it was that other “mike toner”? Laugh! Hey Class of 70, maybe we’re all in the home together. Delusional. I sometimes remember getting good grades back in my undergraduate days. C’s were good for me. Laugh! We know that injurers were rarely allowed “up the hill” for any reason.]

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-21 @ 22:43   

JEMAIL: Colon, Philip J. (MC1962) on Fathers’ Day

2015-Jun-21

Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads. In turn, we have so much to be thankful for in our Daughters and Sons. Maria Khury recently referred to Spirit and Faith as part of our Focus and we owe so much to our Fathers. Thank you. God Bless..

Phil Colon

Colon, Philip J. (MC1962) 

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-21 @ 15:24  

JEMAIL: Toner, Mike (MC1972) catches up with me

2015-Jun-19

Dear f. John,

I sent the note below last week by replying to JJ distribution – but perhaps it got lost in “the ether”… I wouldn’t want you to think that your devoted readers weren’t paying attention to your questions and concerns…

Dear f. John,

Regarding your proposed switch from Yahoo to distribute JJ.

Frist – from your reply to Jasper Ferrara (a classmate – though I don’t think we knew each other..), please say it isn’t so, that there will come a day “when [you] can no longer do it”…

Second – Just give us instructions and this Jasper will adopt whatever distribution scheme is best for you.

Regarding Bill Donohue and “calling it as he sees it…” – sometimes I think Brother Bill could use some new glasses… He seems to see bigotry and anti-Catholicism behind any disagreement or legitimate criticism. I think that he is frequently an embarrassment to our Church.

Thanks, as always, for all you do as CIC…

mike toner
BEE ’72
buffalo, ny

Also this week in the Broderick obituary, it mentions his brother, Ray, and that his wife is Fran (presumably Broderick). I was at alma mater when we were able to take classes at CMSV (and vice-versa). I took a film class at CMSV taught be Fran Broderick. I wondere if they are one and the same.

Thanks again for your good work

mike toner
BEE ’72

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[JR: (1) You’re correct. If you don’t see it, then I missed it. (2) Doing the obits for so long, one has to recognize that eventually everyone reaches the end of the road. (3) Anyone can shift to the “new” distribution mechanism at http://eepurl.com/NAy_D anytime. I’ll figure out how to push everyone over as we get to the end of the year. (4) I think Bill D at least speaks up. I think that the “brand” is damaged MORE by the antics of politicians like JFK, Pelosi, and others. (5) No idea about Broderick’s.]  

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-19 @ 16:04  

JEMAIL: Delaney, Gerard M. (MC1975) “Anathema sit”

2015-Jun-14

1. To quote Commander Scott, “It’s Green!”

2. If you go to a college belonging to a religious tradition, whether it’s Jewish, Mennonite, delaSalle or Rice Christian Brothers, or Jesuit, you have to expect to see their history blazoned on the campus. In our case, it is Pere delaSalle instructing a youth, and the Lourdes grotto. In the case of St. Louis, it is Pere deSmet (and i’m sure other Jesuit iconography, including the sainted Founder). If you don’t like it, I’m sure that there are other universities that do not display religious imagery, and emphasize the religious nature of their history and mission, their vision of the past, and of their future, that would be more than happy to take them as transfer students. Tell them, “Anathema sit” and dust them off of your hands.

Gerard ‘75

Delaney, Gerard M. (MC1975)

[JR: Laugh. It’s like these people are insane. It’s like going to a bar and demanding abstinence. BUT, (and there is always a BIG butt), aren’t we commanded to “love”? So you can’t “curse them”, but patiently treat them like the petulant crabby brats that they are. Eventually they will either “learn”, “grow up”, or “go away”. IMHO all equally acceptable. I like the Quaker and Amish for their tolerance. Thanks for reading and participating; it gets lonely here in Virtual Jasper Newsroom.]

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-14 @ 11:11   

JEMAIL: Flynn, Bro. Gregory (MC1957) shares a picture and asks for donors

2015-Jun-10

2015 Jun 10 DSC03775

Dear John,

I want to thank you for your generous assistance to the children of Addis Hope. There are not many people who can say, as you can, that they have greatly helped change the direction of a child’s life – in this case an Addis Hope child. That life was the result of brutal dehumanizing poverty. Now there is hope through education. What I find remarkable and gratifying is that I’m sure all this is nothing new to you given the mass media in our world, yet you have continued your support despite many other valid claims on that support. For that, the children of Addis Hope continue to hold you in daily prayer.

God bless,

Greg 

P.S.

You can continue to assist by enlisting at least one other to broaden our partner base.

[JR: I know that the best works are done in secret. But I’ll pull back the veil to let everyone know about a great charity. I’ve included the address below so your works can remain secret. Dona Nobis Pacem,]  

Flynn, Bro. Gregory (MC1957) 

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Brothers of the Christian School
ATTN: Addis Hope
444 A Route 35 South
Eatontown, NJ 07724

# – # – # – # – #  2015-Jun-10 @ 18:56