Below is the eulogy that Br. Brian Carty, FSC
delivered at Br. Ray’s Mass.This is a great tribute
to Brother Ray,
May He Rest In Peace.
[JR: Thanks, Mike. Much appreciated.]
For sixty years Brother Ray’s life and mine have paralleled. In 1957 we were freshman classmates in High School, trying to discern at the ripe old age of 14 if we had a vocation to be a Brother. In high school we boarded, lived in community and made our Novitiate together at Barrytown. All of us got to know each other well and the characteristics that came to define us as adults were formed in those years. That is why they called this period of training, formation! The Brother Ray you all knew was the same one that I got to know sixty years ago. Of all of the things I could say about Ray, let me share with you the one aspect of Ray that I believe truly defined him and made him the person we came to know and love.
(Adrdessing Brother Ray’s Casket) It seems to me my very dear Brother that you hate to lose! Ray was a fierce competitor so losing was not an option. He was a good athlete, his preferred games being basketball and handball. In basketball he was all over the court, seemingly inexhaustible. When he drove to the basket with his shoulder lowered, you got out of his way. I made the mistake trying to stop him and paid the price. We also played Football and he was the team’s fullback. Again he would just lower that shoulder and plow into the line without fear. He would play three-wall handball ferociously, taking on any and all comers. He ruled the court. He was the best! He let you know that! This quality of hating to lose and never giving up defined him.
In college, like me, he was a Biology major. We were in many of the same classes. He had the habit of “borrowing” my notes to make sure that he didn’t miss anything. He fought for those As, whatever it took. He liked to remind me from time to time, just how well he did! “So Brian, what did you get” was his favorite question to me. He liked to remind me that his GPA was a little higher than mine. I told him that was because he took the easy A electives. I took the tough ones. Before we could graduate we had to take three full days of comprehensive exams, where we were tested on anything and everything in our major field, I got an A and he got a B+. He wasn’t happy! I too was and still am a little competitive!
As we both aged, Ray’s professional life and mine turned from Biology to counseling and child care and then to teaching. His counseling Psych degree from NYU, followed by his MSW from Columbia, fed into his competitive nature. It gave him bragging rights because he earned both degrees while still working full time. His competitiveness morphed or should I say matured, into his being passionate about the people he was asked to care for, whether it was the boys at Saint Peter’s on Staten Island, or in the Elm cottage at Lincoln Hall, his clients at the Family Outreach Program, his students at Saint Raymond’s, his students at Manhattan College or his beloved little family of the Kappa Delta Pi International Education Honor Society. He wanted nothing but the best for them. His Ph.D brought him great joy because it allowed him to have an even greater impact on the world by allowing him to train the people who would be the next generation of caretakers.
Ray was indefatigable. If someone needed him, he was there. He couldn’t say NO to any one who needed him. He set a high standard for himself. Like I said, he hated to be anything less than his best! He tried to take care of everyone else. He just forgot to take care of himself. Saint La Salle asked his Brothers to give of themselves selflessly and that he did that with a “Lasallian Ferocity! “
The story of Brother Raymond needs to be told and each of us here is the story-teller. Find a way to write your own eulogy for Brother Ray and share it on social media. Let the world know that there are people who truly care about others and who dedicate their lives in humble service to God and to the people for whom God asked them to care. That is how we change the world.
I will sorely miss you Ray, my fiercest competitor, my Brother, and dear friend. So, true to the spirit of our loving sixty-year competition, I have to say, Ray, just remember who got an A on the Comps and who got the B+! Just saying!! Love you, Dear Brother.
# – # – # – # – # 2017-Jul-24 @ 13:26